Deep Thinker: “I want a brother, not a sister. Then we can have a boy’s club. With a sister, we definitely cannot have THAT.”

Rowdy Rebel: “I want a girl or a boy. I will hold her.” (He calls every child “her,” girl or boy.

Then I asked the boys if they would feel jealous of losing Mom and Dad’s attention.

Rowdy Rebel: “Yes, I will feel bad if I don’t get attention. I will feel NERVOUS if she SCREAMS while I’m TALKING.” (As he said this, his eyes were open very widely, and he was nodding.)

Deep Thinker: “It’s okay. You can take care of Rowdy Rebel and give him attention. I’ll take care of the baby.”

I LOVE it. What you ask is what you get–no filters, no “making it pretty” for the person their talking to. And so cute to look at too. I feel really lucky.

Full of curiosity, I asked him how to tell. With his eyes opened really wide, he said, “You get to know em.”

I said that’s a really good idea, and asked how you get to know them. Face still the same–big eyes and real serious–he said, “You spend a lot of time with ‘em.”

This child thinks so much about marriage. Do all six-year olds do this? He also asked me how people decide the names of children because “it must be real hard to decide from all those names!”

“God, thank you for my brothery. Thank you that my brothery is eating. Thank you that my Mommy is eating. Thank you that my Daddy is eating…God, thank you that Daddy is going to bring me a big, purple toy. It’s not my brothery’s toy. It’s mine.”

Rowdy Rebel is such a sweet little three-year old. But he does love playing rough, yelling loudly, not sharing, and other toddler behaviors. He’s not the nicest playmate in the world, but I don’t let him get away with it.

Of course, I give him time-outs and explain why these things are bad. But we’re still dealing with Rowdy Rebel here. He’s not going to be the calm and gentle type (even though he is warm and loving.)

I guess that’s why his new favorite phrase cracks me up to no end: “THA NO NICE!” (That’s not nice.)

PS. This photo is Rowdy Rebel’s “tha no nice” face. It was taken when he was 1.

So, at one point Rowdy Rebel was having a fit. At this moment, Deep Thinker asked me if he could sweep the living room. (Note that Rowdy Rebel cannot see Deep Thinker sweeping the living room under any circumstances ever. The few times he did, he grabbed the broom and the scene got very hazardous very quickly. Then to take the broom away is impossible and involves a lot of screaming, and I can’t bear to go through it again to make a short story kind of long.)

SO, I said no. Then Deep Thinker asks why and explains that it’s just to help me clean, and this, and that, and so I should let him. This whole time, I am trying to calm Rowdy Rebel down as he screams and punches me.

I responded to Deep Thinker with slight annoyance, “NO. You can’t SWEEP, alright? I can’t talk about it with you right now!” He seemed ok with this and started playing with Lego’s.

That night when I tucked them in, he said, “Mom, I’m very disappointed in you. You used a mean voice when I was asking you to sweep. I was just trying to HELP you.”

I said truthfully, “Well, I was having a really hard time with your brother, and I was in a bad mood. I’m sorry.”

Deep Thinker got the last word when he insisted, “Well, that isn’t a good reason to be mean to me, Mom. You can say it in a nice voice.” I love it when my own words are repeated to me and teach me things I should have already known.

First, I asked him if he’d like to have a baby brother or sister. He said he’d like to have a baby brother. He added, “I don’t want to be the baby. I want to be big boy. I want other brother be baby.”

Then he explained how babies cry: “They say ‘aaaa haaaa.’ Sometimes they say ‘AAAA!’” That was very helpful:)

So, I said, “That’s true. Babies cry a lot. You know Mommy would need to do a lot of things for a baby brother. Would you help Mommy with your baby brother or sister? Would you help Mommy get a new diaper for the baby, or get his bottle in the refrigerator and bring it to me?”

His response: “Yes! I will get the baby’s diaper Mommy! His diaper will be TINY. And he can’t close it, so I will close it. And I will get his milk bottle in the ‘frigiator,’ and I will feed it to him.”

And my favorite: I asked, “Would you help me give the baby a toy if he cries?”

His answer: “Yes. I will get the baby’s toy. First, I will play with it. Then I will share it with baby to play with.” To make sure I understood, he repeated this answer three times.

We learned that newly hatched bald eagles attach to the first moving thing they see as their mother, even if it is an animal other than an eagle, or even a human.

For a few months, he stopped talking about eagles. Then yesterday, he suddenly started lecturing me about not being near bald eagles when they hatch–apparently the first thing a baby bald eagle spots moving is taken to be the parent, and the baby birds attaches to it. My son said, “DON’T MOVE if you’re near a bald eagle when it hatches out of its egg!!! The baby bird will think you are its MOM.”

He vowed, “Mom, if I’m ever near a bald eagle when it hatches, I’m gonna FREEZE. What if the eagle saw me and thought I was its parent? I’m not ready to be a DAD. I’m just a KID!“

Rowdy Rebel really, really wanted to collect snails too. Instead, we gave him an empty shell we found.

And thank goodness. When we got home, he threw the shell on the kitchen floor and began stomping on it. Now, he’s really a sweet, warm child. I swear it’s true. But there’s something about some textures (you know, eggs, ketchup, snails, etc) that give him the urge to explore, experiment, throw, and stomp…

Later, I went to tuck Rowdy Rebel in. I got the little guy all settled in, and thought I’d go clean up around the kitchen. As I walked toward the kitchen, I heard his voice. I asked who he was talking to, and he said he was telling his pet snails a bedtime story.

Well, the very next day, the same “friend” asked for my son’s turn. And as we discussed, my son said, “No, I want to take my turn this time.” As it turns out, that “friend” often asked for my son’s turn on the swing. And when he finally refused to give up his turn on the swing, the boy used the old “I won’t be your friend anymore line.” Well, my little Deep Thinker was not fooled. He refused anyway. And has continued to refuse up to today. He still gives friends his turn, but only when he knows they “really need a turn.”

On the way home today, we had a little talk. Deep Thinker said this same “friend” asked if he could cut in front of him in line today. My son refused, and the “friend” tried to push ahead of him anyway. Little Deep Thinker used blocking and some interesting walking from side to side techniques, and that other guy finally went to the back of the line.

So I asked, “Doesn’t it feel good to take your turn? Aren’t you proud of yourself?”

His response: “Well, it felt good to let my friends have my turn. But it feels even better to take it myself.” What a sweetheart.

I wanted to teach him about forgiving and moving on. So I told him about the time my sister tore my favorite swirly-q picture. I was about 7, and she was 5. I liked drawing swirly-q’s and coloring them in. But every time I drew one, it turned out crooked, too dark, or too small. But finally, one day, I did it. I drew the perfect swirly-q ! I was sooo happy!

A few minutes later, my sister asked me to play inside with her, but I refused. Out of anger, she tore my picture in half. To Deep Thinker, I pointed out that my sister didn’t want to hurt me or my picture. I said, “See, sometimes little brothers and sisters do things like that. It doesn’t mean they want to hurt you–it sometimes means they really need your love and attention.” He got it. Or so I thought.

About 30 minutes later he comes up to me. I could see from his face that he was horribly upset. His little chin was quivering, and his mouth was pinched. I asked, “Are you okay? What’s wrong???? ”

He said, trying really hard not to cry, “Why don’t you buy a new curly thing NOW, Mommy?” I asked “What?” He said, “The thing that your sister BROKE. Why don’t you buy one for yourself now, Mommy?” He wanted me to buy myself another swirly Q picture that wasn’t torn. So compassionate.

He felt totally better after learning that my father had taped my picture back together for me:)